So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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