I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
