He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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