I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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