My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Everything about him screamed your future.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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