I should be sponsored by Trojan
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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