he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Randomize
