Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Randomize