i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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