drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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