I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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