From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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