My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
