I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
you didnt know i had herpes?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize