You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
This girl is more easily done than said...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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