the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
