how can u be prego again
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
My balls are so social today.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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