So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
He felt like a one man threesome
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
