Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
