i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
My breath smells like gin and sadness
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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