Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize