and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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