Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
