Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
