Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Panties = found
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