she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
