Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
