I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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