I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
