I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
