He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
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