youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
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