Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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