dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
