i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
