He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
