wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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