please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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