Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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