I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
