he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
false alarm, still single
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
