I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
