Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
