the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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