Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
