I didn't shave. On purpose
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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