found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
