I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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