I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
