yo everyone went to the hospital last night
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
