I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
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