some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
