I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
