She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
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