Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
