I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize